Figures of the past make for a nostalgic Milwaukee weekend

It’s been an interesting week, personally at least. I began the week hanging out for the first time in years with the person I most closely associate with someone I closely associate with the guy with whom I ended my week discussing the past. That makes little sense now, but give me a few pages.

Monday I went to see Dyan (and Matt), with an understanding we’d drink a bit. I used to see and hang out with Dyan almost every day back when I worked at the store in Menomonee Falls across the Appleton Avenue from Subway, where Dyan worked. I’d go there after I closed to read and chat until they closed, and then we’d usually hang out. Jordan G also used to work at Subway, and used to be Dyan’s friend. He was a boy whom I used to wish was obsessed with me instead of Garbage. Sometimes I miss those days, the days of eating lots of Subway!

I’d never had alcohol in Dyan’s presence, and vice versa, so I didn’t know what to expect, but it was fine. :-) She showed me how to play Scattergories, which somehow I’d never learned before, so we did a round of that and chatted for a few hours. I think Dyan was trying to kill me with that last drink; I poured most of it back into the Sprite bottle (that was left over from when Oliver and Chloe visited…) for later use and so I’d make it home alive.


Matt K, Dyan's boyfriend, who works at Target doing something with supply chains. Soon they'll be moving to Minneapolis I think so he can work at their corporate headquarters, where my friend Frank D works.


Dyan doesn't yet like to be photographed, so this is all I can post of her. :-)

Wednesday Oliver H was Gchatting with me about the rains in Brisbane and how it was slippery. I told him that was nothing compared to the ice and snow of the Middle West, and my sister Christina happened to see him type that and had to put in her two cents:

Thursday I decided to go out, and Jim S offered to give me a ride again. Milwaukee’s a little harder to do without a vehicle, so thanks Jim! We went to Notte Night Club, the location where this thing called “Crave” is hosted. The organizers are trying to get it going… It’s basically a gay night at a typically straight club, but always the same place. It wasn’t very busy, but I had a good time nonetheless, conversing to no end as usual.


Kevin P, Brian B and Steven P

At one point, several of us sort of simultaneously noticed a guy named Tony, and I made Brian approach Tony with me. I don’t remember what I said, but we started talking to him. I thought he was pretty cute at the time, and I asked him to go to Hybrid with us when we left. Jim offered him and his friend Eric a ride, but I guess they found another ride.


Jim, who was so kind as to pick me up and drop me off, and Tony M


Kevin, me, Jim and Tony


Brian B, Christian P, Steven P and Jim


Whoops, I didn't mean to touch your butt, Steven. :-P


Cuties... Eric Z and Tony M

So then we went to Hybrid, where my old friend Matt P works now. I guess he gave up on his social work master’s degree.


One of my favorite Matts


Matt played serious about kicking us out at the end of the night. :-P

And that was that! Jim drove me home, and I apparently called Tony (who gave me his number at hybrid) an embarrassing number of times while he was with Eric. But hey, he told me to, though it was a fruitless effort as he claims to have fallen asleep with the phone still in his clothing, which weren’t on him. Mhmm.

Then Friday night was “Milwaukee Guerrilla Gay Bar,” where a straight bar is “taken over” for a night by the gays. This time it was at Rascal’s on Murray, just off North Avenue. Ryan, Josh and I got there around 10 or 11, and it was packed! You could barely move, and it took forever to get a drink. It seemed to be a slightly older audience, but I saw a few people I knew. And the elusive Tony showed up despite claiming he wouldn’t be out that night.


One of Milwaukee's finest


Andy P, Dominic S, Josh P and Ryan H at Rascal's on Murray for Guerrilla night.


Josh, a bit out of focus


On no, it's that Tony M again... said he wasn't going out tonight, definitely not drinking, and definitely not taking anybody home. Mhmm.


Josh, Ryan and Tony

After a while, Rascal’s started to clear out pretty quickly, probably because it was so crowded and people wanted to drink, but wanted to stay just long enough to see all the gays who would come. We then headed over to Hybrid again, where it was the owner Bill’s birthday, so a buffet was served. I didn’t notice this until later though, but when I did, I stacked onto a plate a giant pile of chicken wings and things. It was delicious! But I looked absolutely ridiculous with an overflowing plate of fried meat among a crowd of gays at a bar. At least some of the people around me assisted my devouring it. Matt P was working again, and he ate some as well. What a nice guy.

Let’s see… I met a few slightly older people who were charming. There was Thomas S, whose business card said simply “Enabler.” Not sure what to make of that. And then a Dr. Steven D, whose business card implied he is a writer of some sort. Oh, and the business card thing. I’ve been too happily distributing my wonderful MiniCards from Moo lately. Everyone seems to love them.

Anyway, around the time I was gorging on meat, Josh and Ryan left because Josh got sick. Josh never drank alcohol until just recently, and he’s 26. I guess he’s still learning. They neglected to return my bag with my phone charger or my coat, and it was about 10 degrees Fahrenheit. Then I basically had to find a friend to crash with, and it was nearing bar time. Luckily I found Jake, who had clearly drunk way too much. I also saw John S from high school. He had deleted me on Facebook years ago and we haven’t talked until recently when he re-added me. I’m not sure what was up there.

So at bar time, Jake and I ran the seven blocks to his place. It seemed like it took forever, as it was windy and probably near zero degrees by then. We stopped briefly in his lobby to warm up, and then he dragged me to Mykonos, where he apparently always goes when drunk at night. It’s just down the block, and the old men who work there are friendly and delightful. I was pretty full from all the chicken, but Jake bought me a gyro. It was good, though, and loaded with meat.

Then we went to bed, and in the morning we had a wonderful conversation about how we met, the past, gay life and more.

Jake and I met online at least before Aug. 30, 2005 (based on the oldest message I could find.) I don’t remember exactly how it came about, but it had something to do with another guy, Jordan G, whom I liked at the time. Jordan had an unnatural obsession with the band Garbage, and Jake had some connection to the lead singer or something. I’ll have to ask Jordan if he remembers more.

Anyway, I’ve always had a strange attraction for Jake, and I wanted to meet him for a long time. I don’t think I met him in person until Dec. 8, 2007, when I hosted him and his friend Paul B, another super hot guy, after a TPS dance in Madison. I think that was one of the most wonderful nights of my life.


Jake M and Paul B, Dec. 8, 2007, at 1:27 a.m., when I first met them in person.

Back to the present, or, back to Saturday morning, Jake and I were talking about random things, and eventually we got to gay life in Madison before I moved there in 2006. He was talking about parties after nights at Club 5 in the top level of a duplex where Rob B lived. Then he got out his boxes of photos, though he admittedly didn’t have many photos of that period of his life. He had at one point lived with Derick M, whom we saw the night before and whom Jake hasn’t spoken much with in the past few years. We discussed all the people we knew who were in the scene then and still are, including tales of Grandma J’s photography habits.

We talked about sex, about being a slut. Jake made a remark that he considered me one of the most prominent social whores in Wisconsin or something like that. He showed me his journal pages where he recorded names of people he met, before giving up. But the whole thing really fascinated me. I also keep a journal of names, though in addition to names I record dates and times and have nearly every instance written down since I became sexually active. My original motivation was practical: In case something bad happened (aka the H.I. virus), I would know exactly whom to contact, whom to suspect. But now I am glad I do it simply for the historical interest.

Jake started showing me songs and videos that interested him. I discovered he was a fan of Moloko, a group to whom I was introduced by Josh H a few years ago, and with whom I have since fallen in love. Moloko’s my top artist on, though maybe not for long. Jake showed me a video I am now obsessed with, called “The Lady is Dead,” directed by Roy Raz.

He also mentioned CocoRosie, a group my beloved Nicc C likes but to whom I have never listened. Now that I’ve downloaded their entire discography, I am in love. I’ve logged 174 CocoRosie listens this week! I’m really grateful Jake somehow got me to check them out! Also, my attention was drawn to the group Antony and the Johnsons when Jake and I were discussing the voice in “The Lady is Dead,” which I thought sounded similar to a song I had discovered on by Antony called “Her Eyes are Underneath the Ground.” I didn’t realize there were so many more songs by that artist, and now I’m also addicted to that group. 136 listens this week!

By around noon, Josh finally texted to say he was coming (and bringing my stuff back) with Ryan. They arrived at a slightly inopportune time, as Jake then had to rush around the apartment cleaning up embarrassing things, including the at least six takeout containers from nights prior. They’d never been to Jake’s apartment of three years before I guess.


Okay, maybe Jake looks a bit like a criminal in this photo, but I really like it.

We spent a bit of time reiterating the things about which we talked the past few hours, and showing Ryan and Josh some of the photos. They didn’t get to see the logs, though. :-)


Looking into the past


Jake M's appearance in a November 2003 issue of The Edge Magazine, apparently a Wisconsin or Midwest based gay magazine started by Cody D, who is now a DJ in Chicago according to Facebook.


I told Josh this photo looked helpless. Thoughts? :-)


Ryan inspecting Jake's old report cards. Who knew Jake was a straight A student? :-)


Again, criminal, but I like it.


Me and Josh


Ryan, a bit out of focus, but cute.


My favorite mugger :-)


The Giver is burdened with great sadness.

Josh and Ryan then took me home and visited a bit and then went back to Josh’s for a day of movies. I was thinking of joining them for a while, but decided to try to get some work done before going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show that night with Erica S from the Wisconsin International Scholars Program and maybe Dyan. As the night progressed, I tried to get other friends to come with to the show at the Oriental Theater, but was unsuccessful. A bunch of people said they wanted to but couldn’t for various reasons, so I ended up deciding not to go.

At 10:30, Josh called and said he and Ryan were at some party with Allen D, Ryan’s on and off boyfriend and longtime object of affection. Apparently it was extremely awkward, and Ryan and Allen got into an argument, so they were going to leave. Ryan was going home, but Josh wanted to go to LaCage since he had gotten prepared to show himself to the world. I of course obliged, and we got to the club around midnight. It wasn’t very busy at first, but within a half hour, it got pretty full.

We ran into some friends, and I didn’t do much socializing beyond those people I knew. I did apparently give my card to a boy named Nicholas S, though I must have drunk too much by that point because I didn’t remember having met him at the club.


Andy A, who interns for WISN I think, and me


Josh, Matt D and Andy A. Josh is practicing looking in different places for photos because he hates the camera flash... Hmm.


Matt D

Afterward, Josh and I went to Wendy’s (after discovering McDonald’s was closed) and I spent $10.50 on myself. Why do I do these things!? Anyway, we got to Josh’s and ate our burgers, and then I was texting Nicholas and looking at his pictures on Facebook. I had to confirm with Josh the person in the pictures was someone cute we saw at the club… Oy.

Anyway, the next day I brought the car back so Mom could go to church with the kids at 11. In the afternoon, Ryan, Josh and I went to Bayshore Mall to go to H&M, and I spent $130. Yay… Then we went to Mayfair Mall to go to Express… I bought a $50 sweater for $15, so I guess that was all right. I only have one or two sweater things. Then Josh and I dropped off Ryan, and we went to Josh’s to watch a downloaded copy of Devil with Justin T and Caprice J. It was a pretty good movie, and quite suspenseful.

Before I left, Josh lent me his supply of leftover amoxicillin-clavulanic acid tablets. I decided to order antibiotics online to cure myself of any potential malevolent invaders in lieu of paying to get tested, as I can’t go to the UW clinic for free anymore, and I wanted to start the year off fresh. I wouldn’t be receiving the online supply for a while, as it’s coming from India. #FirstWorldProblems

So things are going fairly well, despite my making zero progress on my freelance projects. I’ll have to get on those soon. I’ve been up and down emotionally, and perhaps the incessant listening to Antony and the Johnsons isn’t helping, but that music really moves me. I still keep thinking of the situation with Jeff, though he seems to be doing fine despite Facebook’s informing me of several injuries in the last week. But he certainly has plenty of support and loving friends and devotees. Maybe I just need to find a guy to keep my mind off things…

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